LOL – how’s this for a Monday morning blog title. YOWser. Maybe read this once you’ve got your morning java in hand.
As a Presence Advocate I get asked this periodically. “How do I make sure I don’t settle?” What’s interesting to me about the question is that often time when we think about the settling it’s the other person or thing (job offer, pay grade adjustment, an invite we’re not 100% keen on etc) we think is the “what we settled for.”. I see this differently.
When I think about settling it’s about what you’re settling for, within yourself, which has you agreeing or going the path that isn’t as good as it could be for you.
Here are 5 tips to keep you from settling:
1. Know your parameters. What does this mean? Set clear rules for yourself on what is okay and not okay for you. Consider things like communication, respect, trust levels, follow through, consistency. Know these parameters like you know the alphabet. Own the parameters.
2. Know what you’re worth. You teach others how to treat you. Consider what that looks and feels like. And know what to say/do (have a plan!) if that isn’t happening and you need to take care of yourself.
3. Use your gut. Your gut/ instincts are ‘built in ‘ for a reason. As we move from childhood to adulthood many of us use our instincts less instead of more. Plug back into them, it’s amazing once you get them up and functioning again how they can play a positive role in your decision-making.
4. Practice speaking up for yourself. Use your voice. Articulate your wants and needs objectively and hold yourself to making them happen. You are in charge of your happiness. You need to be your number one.
5. Accurate self assessment. This is the heart of Emotional Intelligence and comfortably links to self-confidence and empathy skills. Know where you are strong naturally and lead with those talents. Know where you are ‘weak’ and need support, development and patience with yourself. Accurate Self Assessment will help you connect with full ‘offering’ and lead with it consistently.
BEing real with you is what this list of 5 tips speaks to.
My questions for you today:
What have you being skirting around that you need to shake up or shift through?
How has settling with yourself impacted your last 18 months?
How much are you willing to lose before you own this?
Yours to own.
Go get it xo