I just finished reading Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming. I appreciated how open she was with her life experiences, including how she initially would view a situation and then in reflection, comment from another source or a shared perspective, how she could filter, pivot and learn within the situation. A raw honesty and vulnerability that, in my opinion is a life gift.
In the Becoming Us section of the book (page 206) she was shared about been keen to go counselling with Barack, to “validate my grievances”. Any of us who have gone to quality counsellors knows, like Michelle hoped, this is not how counselling works. Here are a couple nuggets from Michelle’s book passage that stuck with me. I offer them to you, reformatted into questions, because I believe they are worth considering when we are having tough conversations:
-How are you separating your weapons from your wounds?
-What (at the root) is making you feel this way?
-How are you letting this situation stoke the most negative parts of yourself? (I know – GOOD question!)
-What would allow you to be more in charge of your own happy, versus leaving it for others to do for you?
Whether it be a conflict with an employee, a tricky dialogue with a client or being vulnerable in a relationship, these questions may help you sort through what you’re feeling with more objectivity, while giving you an easier path for the discussion and a better chance for a neutral to positive outcome.
Worth a shot, in my opinion! xo